I'm almost done, I'm so close to the end I can taste it. I'm almost at the end of the Twilight Saga. Just one more story and this franchise is over! The bad news is they've split the last story into two films.
Bella (Kristen Stewart) and Edward (Robert Pattinson) are now married, signalling the fact that Bella will soon turn into a vampire (her father STILL isn't aware of this). However Bella decides that she doesn't want to die a virgin, and she and Edward consummate their marriage. Cue the necrophilia comments. However this results in Bella somehow getting pregnant. With the unborn child growing at an accelerated rate and killing Bella from inside, as well as posing a threat to both them and the people of Forks, the Quileute pack decide the child cannot live, prompting Jacob to leave and join reluctantly the Cullen's.
This film is boring! BORING BORING BORING! My God, it was so bland it made me angry. I can now see the Twilight franchise as a mountain,
'Twilight' is the start,
'New Moon' was the peak, and then it went downhill from there.
It does appear that Harry Potter has made splitting books into multiple films popular, what with Twilight and
'The Hobbit' doing the same thing. But the difference between 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part1/2' and 'Breaking Dawn' is that there is a lot of stuff in the Harry Potter books that are necessary to the plot. Again, I haven't read the Twilight books, but from what this film tells me seeing Bella and Edward play chess, seeing him abandon her at one point, do nothing but talk, look I'm sorry but is all this really vital? I get it, you're trying to tell me they're in love, you've been telling that in the last THREE GOD DAMN FILMS! The film couldn't have just done most of this in a ten minute montage? Actually, I'm sorry, there was a montage. Three of them. All of which did nothing to move the story along. Simple solution, Bella and Edward get to their honeymoon resort, we see a them have fun, they have sex, and bam she's pregnant. Did it really have to be talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk sex talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk pregnant.
You see '...Deathly Hallows Part 1' managed to balance the slow talking scenes and the fast action scenes brilliantly. Maybe if the talking scenes were actually interesting I could've enjoyed them. It's not like I don't like constant talking, I really enjoyed 'Lost in Translation', mainly because the conversations there were actually interesting, but the conversations between Bella and Edward are so completely and utterly dull, I think watching paint drying on growing grass would be more fun. The film even managed to make a naked woman (Stewart in this case) boring and the ONLY real action sequence in the film underwhelming. It's pretty amazing that that was possible when you think about it.
Then again, it's all down to the characters because, guess what? They're (still) BORING. Jacob (Taylor Lautner) is still throwing a child tantrum; yes I was on his side but his character hasn't progressed at all, he's still in the same stage that he was back in 'New Moon'. Actually, now that I think about it, none of the characters have made any real progress. This could have been the second film in the franchise and there wouldn't have been any difference. These characters haven't learnt anything since 'Twilight', they haven't evolved beyond the persona we first saw in 'Twilight'. They're suppose to be young adults by this point, except the one hundred and nine year old who preys on seventeen/eighteen year old girls, but they're still acting like thirteen year olds.
Speaking of which, remember in 'New Moon' where Bella has a go at Jacob for killing people (Though this is easily swept aside by Jacob saying he only kills vampires). Guess what? Edward admits that HE killed people, and Bella pretty much says "yeah, whatever". Oh Edward says that the men he killed were, as Bella puts it, "murderers", but she can't just go from "you can't kill humans, it's wrong" to "whatever you say dear, I'll put the kettle on". Oh and there's this vampire called Irina (Maggie Grace) who has a fit because werewolves are at the party and they killed Laurent back in 'New Moon'. This is brought up and knocked aside in a second. Oh, and Bella's friends from high school still exist. Apparently.
The acting has NOT gotten worse, but neither has it gotten better. It is still the same bland, boring, dull voices. I keep forgetting to mention this but, Billy Burke. I want to like you. But throughout these films you have been as dull as everyone else. Do I really need to comment on the others? I think my previous reviews have already said enough, I can't really add any more. Well, I will repeat that the scene where Pattinson and Lautner was, again, done very well. Maybe they should get together, they certainly have more chemistry together then either or them do with Stewart.
Okay, I'll go over THAT scene. This film is anti-abortion. And I suppose in a way, so am I. I mean, whether life starts at conception or when the baby is born, it's still life. A baby is born, that's life. A baby is conceived, it's either life or it'll lead to life, it's the same to me. So when this film says "abortion is bad, BUT the fetus is killing her", it's a difficult thing to comprehend. And I suppose I'll give the film that, it challenges you, it makes you think what you would do in their case; kill the baby or kill the mother. The scene itself, I suppose it was done very effectively and well done, but at the same time, it isn't great.
Effects, well, they don't really use them that much. But when they do, the enhanced speed still looks stupid, and the wolf effects still look good. Bizarrely though, the vampires don't sparkle in this any more. There they are, standing in the sun, and they're not sparkling. You know, it's one thing ruining vampires, but to ruin them and then not follow through with consistency, that's just lazy. There was also this moment where we could see the wolf pack communicating to each other AS wolves. This
could have been done great, but instead the way the voices were portrayed, it comes off as a joke. The make-up I will compliment though, in particular on Stewart when she's portraying a person who is ill and is getting worse.
So, in case you didn't understand my feelings towards this film, IT'S BORING. It's dull, it's tedious, it's slow, it's not interesting in the slightest, it's underwhelming. I've said some good points, but overall it's just not that good. Those who don't like 'Twilight' definitely won't like this, those who are indifferent to the franchise will be bored before the half hour mark, only those extreme die hard fans will find anything good in this. But really, did this have to be split into two parts? I haven't seen part two yet so I don't know how relevant or necessary bits are in that, but there's at least thirty minutes in this film which can be cut, and I'm sure there's more which can be taken out. Then, with some editing and a good flow, this could have been salvaged.
But before we get to part two, let's have a look at 'The Host'.
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