Before you ask, yes, this was done by the same director/writer behind 'The 41 Year Old Virgin who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and felt Superbad about It'. What? You couldn't tell?
When she was seven Dana's (Kathryn Fiore) father (French Stewart...for some reason) murdered the entire cast of 'The Artist' (I'll come back to this) while being exorcised, and ends up in an institution. Dana visits him, but upon realising that this has nothing to do with the plot, she goes onto 'The Bacheollor', gains Aaron (Flip Schultz) as a husband, Liz (Olivia Alexander) as the daughter dressed as the girl with the dragon tattoo, and gives birth to a baby boy. Dana and her family move into her childhood home, and for the next thirty nights have some paranormal activity. With a ghost. Who isn't inside the girl (Except for five minutes). Who is Dana. Who doesn't have a dragon tattoo, but instead the symbol from 'The Hunger Games'.
I'll give Craig Moss (The writer/director) credit, he actually made parts of the film's title relevant to the plot this time. But what the Hell is his problem with 'The Artist'? He kills the entire cast (in 1989, so how they know about a 2011 film I don't know. Then again this isn't the first moment when things from 2000 onwards appear in the past), though I'm pretty sure the entire cast of 'The Artist' consists of more than five people, he has characters moan about it (Though one does say it's awesome). But, you also have Dana saying her father was being exorcised by "clergymen" and "clowns", and two characters saying they "didn't get it" or they "don't understand why it had to be silent". 'The Artist' is a love story, it's set around the time of silent films, and it shows that a film does not need dialogue to be highly successful, unlike '30 Nights of Paranormal Activity...' where 98% of the dialogue is crap. 'The Artist' won three Golden Globes, seven BAFTAs, five Academy Awards, and six Cesar awards, the only award Moss' film will win will be in the form of a Razzie.
Anyway, the actual film. It's shit. Go figure. As previously mentioned the opening pretty much had nothing to do with the rest of the film, while the rest of the film relies on idiocy. Your house is haunted, leave the house. And for the love of God don't leave your kids on their own.
Now, you know how much I hated the characters in
'Triassic Attack'? Well, at least in that film I didn't actually want them to die. Unlike these characters who I really wanted to die as soon as possible. These include the Ghost Brothers (Tyler Phillips and Peter Gilroy) whose joke is that they see ghosts everywhere and immediately freak the Hell out. You have no idea how much I wanted these two to die horribly. We also have Liz herself, who is lusting for...Abraham Lincoln (Ben Morrison), and is your stereotypical teenage goth. Only ten times worse. Every other character is just a complete jackass.
Though we did have a cockney ghost haunting the place for some reason, he was good at first but grew tiresome quickly. Oh and Dana is a God damn idiot, here's one of her lines; "(Her father) was transferred to one of the top psychiatric facilities in the world. Which happens to be in Italy, which is, like, in a whole other country". I'm still debating as to whether that meant she didn't know Italy is part of the world, or whether she didn't know Italy was in fact a country. Though the acting, like 'The 41 Year Old Virgin...', well, they did the best they could do with script. Wait, oh God it's exactly like 'The 41 Year Old Virgin...'! I hated the characters in both films, yet thought they did the best they could acting wise.
Okay, let's get to the main aspect; the spoof. I'll admit, the film did raise a chuckle or two (I know, shock and horror), firstly from the Adele impersonator (Melissa Fosse-Dunne) and secondly...I've forgotten, it can't have been that good in hindsight. Though it is better than 'The 41 Year Old Virgin...', primarily because this film isn't lifting the same jokes from Film A into Film B.
Not that the jokes were good though, oh no, it's still using the same cheap fart and sex jokes which, actually, ruin any joke you think might have actually been funny. And, again, any original jokes fall flat. Hell, I would very much like to point out that pedophilia is NOT FUCKING FUNNY. In fact the only bits I actually liked were the lesbian scenes. And even then the film screwed those up! Seriously, you have Abe come in and ruin the lesbian action between the lookalikes of Alice (Kimberly Leemans) (from Resident Evil) and Selene (Tina Casciani) (from Underworld). You know that line Selene says to Alice? "Looks like we'll just have to do each other?" That's the cue to follow them and give up on this piece of crap you call a spoof. Heck, one of the last scenes references 'Bridesmaids', 'The Dark Knight Rises', 'Paranormal Activity', and 'Ghostbusters', trying to jam in as many references as possible for the last five minutes. Look, just because you can......."spoof" a film, doesn't mean you should.
So you know what? Congratulations Craig Moss, you manage to slightly improve on 'The 41 Year Old Virgin...'. But this is STILL God awful! The acting is mediocre, the jokes are still insulting people's intelligence, effects are either bad CGI or on a wire, the characters are still infuriating, and the story, well, a character who just watched it says it's "the biggest piece of crap video"; I'm not sure if that was in the script or not.
And I bet you're wondering what else does Craig Moss have under his belt? Well, he has this:
And if you think I'm reviewing that next...I'm not! Ha! I'm looking at something worse than a Twilight spoof!
Twilight.
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