Friday 23 September 2011

The Box (2009)

Press the button and two things will happen. First; someone, somewhere, someone you don’t know, will die. Second; You will receive $50,000/$200,000/$1000000, depending on if you’re in the short story, TV episode or film respectively. The box will then be collected, and passed onto another, someone you don’t know.

That is the concept behind this film. A couple, played by Cameron Diaz and James Marsden, are visited by a man, played by Frank Langella, who provides them the box in question. They push the button, of course. Well if they didn’t we wouldn’t have a movie.

‘The Box’ was originally a short story by Richard Matheson entitled ‘Button, Button’, where the wife presses the button and her husband is killed. Whilst receiving $50,000 in cash, she asks why her husband was killed. She gets the response “Did you really know your husband?”. The story was also adapted into a twenty minute segment of the 1985 series of ‘The Twilight Zone’, in which the couple pressed the button and are instead told that someone they don’t know will now receive the box, putting them in the firing line.

Now, the short story is, well, a short story. The ‘Twilight Zone’ episode was twenty minutes long. ‘The Box’ is one hundred and fifteen minutes long. Yes, a plot which was very short, has now been stretched out for nearly two hours, and you can really tell. This plot, whilst interesting, is only suitable for a short amount of time. By trying to extend it to two hours, the plot now feels like it’s dragging on, whilst most of what has been added on now feels pointless, before going onto downright stupid. This story is just not suitable for a two hour slot, it just isn’t. If the couple kept the box and were forced to press the button every so often, then that may have worked, especially if persecuted by those investigating the deaths. That may have worked.

And I wasn’t the only one to think this, Cameron Diaz looked bored for about 90% of the film, it looked like she had nothing to do despite being one of the main characters. Hell, on most of the posters her name is twice as big as the other two top billed names, some even only had her name. James Marsden is almost as bad, he just does what is necessary but nothing spectacular, and even then it looked like he was struggling.

Let’s get back to the film. Now the film is set in 1976...for some reason, Diaz has a southern accent...for some reason, Diaz’s character has a mutilated foot...for some reason, some guy seems to get off on this...for some reason, etc, etc. I wouldn’t really mind much, but these points don’t go anywhere, Marsden doesn’t have an accent, there’s no real reason why the film is set in the 70s (apart from..........), the mutilated foot is only five times at the most and wasn’t even a main plot point (as Marsden’s character had already put something together to help her before the box proposal was made) and the guy who gets off on it is only in two or three scenes and only serves for us to feel unsuccessfully sorry for him when Marsden confronts him (I think it’s implied that he’s disabled).

In fact, that scene was unnecessary on so many levels, it was only there to establish she has a deformity. Weird guy says she limps, yet I hardly remember that happening. She only shows her foot because the weird guy uses reverse psychology, every single other member of the class were uncomfortable, they didn’t want to see it.

Frank Langella definitely provided the best performance in this film as Arlington Steward, the man who provides Diaz and Marsden the box. He was creepy, disturbing and mysterious. It’s just a shame that the character was then ruined later. How was it ruined? Well, he’s an alien. Yes. An alien. You see. Steward has a facial deformity, caused by a lightning bolt (glaringly obvious CGI). This killed him, but he was later heard laughing in the morgue (this is the point where I shrug my shoulders) and displayed accelerated healing powers. He would then later go on to say that the box is a survey; if a majority of humanity presses the button, humanity would be exterminated. The box survey only applies to couples with one child, so not very fair is it? Steward was also brought back to life by those who “control the lightning”. So yeah, the Martians from ‘War of the Worlds’ are behind this. We also see portals made of water. But how serious is this?

Not very since the film pretty much stops that plot point. It’s like it hits a brick wall, it comes to a sudden stop. And...good. The whole alien thing makes this intriguing film laughable, stupid really. And on top of it all, it ruins the whole concept. It’s not explained in the short story or the ‘Twilight Zone’ episode, it leaves the idea behind it mysterious, that’s was what was really good about it. Revealing a motive behind the idea of the box ruins the whole thing, especially when it’s revealed aliens are behind it. Do you not remember ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’?

Now, the ending. It tried to be a twist when it wasn’t. Spoiler alert. Since when Diaz pushed the button, somewhere a man shoots his wife. It is later revealed that Langella’s organisation forced him to save his daughter or his wife, deciding to save the daughter and shoots the wife. Why? Don’t ask logical questions. Well later Langella’s people take Diaz and Marsden’s son. Why? I don’t know I was bored at this point, I think it was because Marsden kept trying to investigate him. Anyway, the son takes him through a water portal, which results in the son becoming blind and deaf. Langella offers Marsden a choice, shoot your wife and your son will regain his senses, or they will live knowing that he’ll will never see or hear again, as it’s irreversible. Which doesn’t make sense if Langella can reverse it. Anyway, another couple somewhere had received a box and press the button, at the same time Marsden shoots Diaz. This film tries to go for a ‘Saw’ ending, but it’s not a twist. Why? Because we saw this earlier! The same situation! I apologise if I ruined the surprise for you, but it wasn’t much of a surprise.

So overall, this film is just awful. Intriguing, yet poorly executed. The majority of acting is bland, the twists are predictable and, as I’ve said before, the plot just isn’t suitable for something that’s nearly two hours; it drags on, has a slow flow and is just boring. I got this film off iTunes and watched it on my iPod, and even the iPod thought it was so bad, it just suddenly stopped thirty minutes towards the end, and any attempts to try and resume the film from that point makes the iPod break down for five minutes.

So yes, ladies and gentlemen, don’t bother with this.

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