Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Strippers Vs. Werewolves (2012)

Yes, it's another Strippers verses a supernatural entity film, except we move from zombies to werewolves. I am actually expecting Strippers vs. Vampires to come in 2013, followed by Strippers vs. Sauron in 2014.

Here the plot starts with Mickey (Played for some reason by Martin Kemp, famous for actually having a career past Eastenders) in a strip club where he...um...transforms into a werewolf and is killed by Justice (Adele Silva) the stripper. Mickey's pack, led by Ferris (Billy Murray) and includes Justice's boyfriend Scott (Martin Compston), find out about Mickey's demise and set about finding those responsible with the aim to rip their throats out.

Now, when I first watched this, I really didn't like it. My mate really didn't like, he had fallen asleep partway through the third act. I basically thought that since 'Zombies vs. Strippers' was so awesome, that this would be too. And after watching it, I remembered that 'Zombies vs. Strippers' was only good because it had Johnny 'Backhand' Vegas in it. This film has no worthy substitute. In all honesty I found myself rooting for the werewolves more than the strippers, and that's pretty much because of Compston and Murray; Murray makes his character similar to those you'd find in Guy Ritchie's gang films, and Compston was pretty much the best actor in this.

That's not to say that the acting is great, it's basically the sort you'd find in a soap drama. Then again you do have former Eastenders actor Martin Kemp, as well as Hollyoaks star Ali Bastian. Then there's Barbara Nedeljakova whose only major acting credits are 'Hostel' and 'Hostel 2', and then there's the people who haven't acted  in anything before this, like popular Nuts magazine model Lucy Pinder, and Charlie Bond (Okay she starred in a short before this...which as far as I'm aware no-one has ever seen anyway).

So it seems weird when you see these individuals interact with good experienced actors. And even they seem to be doing the bare minimum, I mean, this films has Billy Murray, Alan Ford, and...Robert Englund? Jesus Christ Robert, first 'Zombie Strippers' now this? You had a career! Stop appearing in crap! Well, at least this will be the last time I see him in a film like this...right?

In all honesty though, I wanted to follow Sinclair (Simon Phillips) in this film. Sinclair is a Van Helsing character, he's an expert on everything supernatural. Except werewolves. He does dump Nedeljakova's character, why I don't know, something about feeling that he's not good enough for her. I can only guess he saw the Hostel films. But in all honesty, I just preferred his character over the strippers. His story appears more interesting, his character appears more interesting, basically I wanted to watch him.

The effects. Oh boy the effects. It looked like the effects were done on Microsoft movie maker. These include some pretty shoddy explosions, and a flame effect which looked like it was photoshopped in. I will give the film one thing, the make-up for the werewolves actually look really good.

In conclusion, this film is a huge disappointment. It's filled with soap opera acting, the effects are virtual nonexistent, the plot takes forever to move on, and the characters are outshone by another character who is in the film for about ten minutes altogether. Hell, the acting is outshone by Robert Englund, and HE'S in this film for probably three minutes.

And you want to know what's even worse, I fancied Ali Bastian before this. I saw her in Hollyoaks (Back when I watched it anyway), I saw her in one or two episodes of Strictly Come Dancing, and yet it's the film where she is shown in her lingerie which puts me off her. How does that happen?!

But, bizarrely, I've now watched this multiple times, I've watched it once with my mate Ryan, watched it again with the Curator of Movie Vault 666, and I watched it a couple more times for this review. And you know what? It's growing on me. Yeah I admit that this is a bad film but for some reason the more I watch it the more I enjoy it, heck I find it funnier then the last viewing. I don't think it will happen for anyone else, but it happened for me. Basically, watch while drunk with mates.



By the way when I said I was expecting 'Strippers vs. Vampires' in 2013, I was joking. That was a joke. Guess what?
It's apparently in the works! Apparently it's in the planning stage.

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