THERE'S ANOTHER ONE?! There's another 'strippers verses something supernaturally' film? And remember, apparently 'Strippers vs Vampires' is coming out next year. Seriously, who actually thought up this angle? I'd have loved to have been in the meeting where one film maker said "You know what type of market hasn't been done yet in the movie industry?...Strippers. Verses zombies, werewolves, vampires, ghosts, demons, leviathans, and, of course, the Winchesters".
Here we find Spider (Circus-Szalewski, yes that is his name), the owner of the Tough Titty strip club, and its seen better days. Nobody seems to go to this strip club, which has resulted in the club bordering on bankruptcy. That is until the zombie apocalypse starts and people start coming in for shelter, thinking it's just people rioting. As more and more zombies descend on the place, the strippers, and I quote from the back of the DVD box, "deal with the disaster the way only a stripper can". So, get infected and become really good dancers? No of course not, unlike 'Zombie Strippers' and more like 'Strippers vs. Zombies" and "Strippers vs. Werewolves", they actually fight the zombies off.
First things first, TURN THE LIGHT ON. Good lord, this is the darkest and most dreary looking strip club I've ever seen. Maybe that's why it's going downhill, because people would actually like to see the strippers take their clothes off. But it's not just the inside of the club that's dark, the outside is too. The day shot, fine, but when we're introduced to Vanilla (Brittany Gael Vaughn), who appears to have come from the 80s, she's fending off two zombies. I can't tell you how, because it was so dark I couldn't see her facial expressions. I think she swung her handbag at one point.
Then again I don't think you need to see their facial expressions, they all pretty much give the same underwhelming persona. Well, there's a few exceptions, I actually did like Circus-Szalewski as Spider, he at least put some effort into his role. The most interesting characters I found though was Red Wings (Brad Potts) and Rudy (Jonathan Erickson Eisley), the problem was they were introduced too late.
And really, the acting doesn't help us get to grips with the characters. Most of the blandness make the characters uninteresting, whereas the some of the other characters, primarily Vanilla and Sugar (Eve Mauro), are so unlikable.
Back to the lights, in the films defence, someone does appear to lighten it up, though not all the time. And this does actually reflect the flow of the film. When there was virtually no light, the film felt like it was dragging on, it was going at a snail's pace. When the zombie hoard finally turns up, this is when the lights seem to come on and the film does pick up. Unfortunately the film seems to pick up the pace as well and it feels the film speeds by. And then the film just ends. There is no real conclusion, it just stops.
Effects, the film doesn't really have that many. And that's a good thing, especially for a low budget, it focuses more on the make-up rather special effects, which can be effective. Any effects I can remember, are of poor quality and don't make sense. This includes Rudy using his electric voice box to somehow electrocute a zombie, and a zombie's head for some reason exploding. And while it was stupid, it was still hilarious to see the dumbest person, Jasmine (Adriana Sephora), on the planet have her face ripped off.
I don't really tend to comment on dialogue that much unless there's, I don't know, one or two lines to talk about. But I'm going to make an example here, since most of the dialogue is stupid! Bambi (Victoria Levine) starts it off when Vanilla and Sugar are arguing, and Bambi says "Come on guys, pee". I repeated this three seconds numerous times, yes, it is obvious that she meant "please", but it sounds so much like "pee". Then again, we also have Sugar herself say "I can't see what I'm hearing". Again, I listened to it a few times.
And then we have the fact that the zombies every so often mutter "Braaains!". Okay, I know this has been quite a popular thing, I mean, one of the Simpsons Halloween episodes had the zombies talking about how much they love brains. The thing is
zombies don't eat brains. I mean it, they always eat the flesh, but they hardly eat the brain, namely because by eating the brain, that destroys the brain and therefore won't create zombies. Also ZOMBIES DON'T TALK.
It's bizarre, I can actually see this film working, but it just doesn't. The direction is wrong, the majority of the acting is wrong, the effects are wrong, Hell the zombies are wrong since every so often they talk! This is definitely one of the weakest zombie films I have seen in recent years.
Wow, so this is the fourth film involving zombies fighting supernatural creatures, and I've reviewed all four of them. Then there's also 'Strippers vs. Vampires' coming next year. Good lord, I'm going to be the one who reviews these sort of films aren't I?...Bare with me a sec.
I just texted the Whalley (By the way, here's his blog http://thewhalley.blogspot.co.uk/), here it is:
Me: Whalley!
Whalley: Hey!
Me: Strippers vs. Orcs, what do you say?
Whalley: Can't mate, at rehearsals.
See? I have become the person who reviews these films! They expect me to review 'Strippers verses whatever' films now!
Wait...what does this say on the back of the DVD box? 'Killjoy Goes to Hell' promo? Oh God. Another Killjoy film, that means I have to review them now!
But first, CHRISTMAS!
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