...................Okay. There have been a few films I have reviewed in which I have no idea what to say about it, with 'The Undead' being the most recent one. And then there's this...thing. What we have here, is 'Zombie Strippers'.
In the near future, in the US, stripping has become illegal, leading to underground strip clubs. However a government facility has secretly created a zombie virus which breaks lose. A squad is sent in to take care of it, but one of them gets infected and (After seeing his squadmates kill a suspected infectee), flees and stumbles onto a underground strip club, run by Ian (Robert Englund...why the Hell are you in this?). Here he attacks stripper Kat (Jenna Jameson...just why?), who reanimates and becomes a mega ultra stripper.
Yes, this zombie virus creates perfect zombie strippers. This is because the zombie virus which was created by the government remains pure only in women; if you're a guy you turn into a mindless normal zombie, if you're a girl you pretty much retain all of your intelligence, you just go slightly zombieish. And slightly nutty. Well this is the first zombie virus to be sexist.
The thing with this film, it can be so contradicting. This isn't a zombie film to be taken seriously, far from it, it's meant to be over-the-top. BUT, there are certain plot elements which are just bizarre. Okay, first of all, the introduction to this film is hilarious, hands down it is the funniest bit of the film. Then we're introduced to some kind of military unit before the film seems to take a completely different turn when it gets to the strip club. Which just happens to be next door to the secret government lab. SPOILERS And then the film leaps right back into the military unit towards the end, before doing something so completely and utterly stupid I can't even describe it. You need to see for yourselves. And really? The zombie virus makes girls into the perfect strippers?
The acting...is stupid. Okay, Robert Englund (I still don't understand why you're in this) is of course the ebst actor in this film, being the only one who actually provides any acting, and, bizarrely, I do have to say that Jenna Jameson does actually provide some snipets of a decent performance. And Joey Medina was sort of a unsung character who should have gotten loads more screen time. It's still stupid overall though. Most of the others are so bland and dull I began wondering if that was how the characters were meant to be portrayed.
Roxy Saint is one of the worst culprits, being so bland she could be mistaken for a wall. Then again her character Lilith is meant to be depressing. To be honest though the different groups, the military unit, the scientists, the strip club employees, they're all effectively portrayed the same, so there's really no real way of separating them. The strippers for instance are all bitchy, they all hate each other, and most of them want to become a zombie to become a 'better' dancer and nothing else. The military unit meanwhile have virtually no individual personalities whatsoever.
I did recognise Penny Drake however, though she eventually disappeared into the crowd of no originality. And the only reason I recognised her was because she was the only thing worth watching in another film called 'The Cook (2008)', where she played a lesbian mistress seducing/dominating a religious heterosexual girl. I will review that film at some point, but, like I said, the only thing worth watching in that film (Oh God this film is making me want to see one of the worst films I have ever seen). Wished she did it again in this film, there is a religious girl in this too. Well, Jessy (Jennifer Holland) is suppose to be a religious individual but I just can't believe that she would be reduced to stripping, no matter what the reason, and she does provide one of the stupidest lines of dialogue to try and persuade the military unit that she and her boyfriend or whoever aren't zombies.
Moving on. The effects...hmm. I suppose I can say that the flares from the guns are on the spot, most of the time, but the effects really aren't that good. They include poor sound effects, poor gore, and bullets which don't work like bullets. The make-up, I suppose is actually really decent, especially the zombie make-up. Well, the zombie make-up on the proper zombies, the zombie make-up for the super ultra female zombies deteriorate over time; in its defence it's to represent the decomposition of the female zombies, which is a nice touch, but it just looks awful at the same time.
And that's the thing with this film, for whatever good things I can say about it, there's something bad to cancel it out. It's not a good film, far from it, but is it an entertaining film? Hmmmmmmm......see here's where it gets complicated. It's entertaining in some ways I suppose, but it's really stupid in others. I guess it is worth a watch, I suppose I would watch it again, for Robert Englund alone, he certainly makes his scenes enjoyable. But it's most likely going to be a film you won't mind missing.
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