The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Was I looking forward to this film? No. Why? Because it was hardly advertised! I saw one article in the Kerrang magazine, and that’s it. I saw no trailers for this, and the only posters I saw where on buses. All I understood while going into this was that a group of friends go to a cabin in the woods (Big shock) and some kind of monster tries to get them. SPOILERS. Well, I would say that, but Spoony ruined the concept by putting on Twitter his views about the ending and the Ancient Ones.

I know I just did it then but the film doesn’t really keep that secret. The main bad guys keep mentioning the Ancient Ones at the end of their scenes. So while the film allows us to get some character development with the main bad guys, while we get to see their understanding behind their actions, the mystery of the film is just gone. Except Sigourney Weaver, who is pretty much just shoehorned in at the end.

End of spoilers. Apart from that the film doesn’t really run at the same pace as a normal horror film. You do get views from both sides of good and evil, in fact, there isn’t really a true evil in this film. Well okay, there is but you know what I mean. The main antagonists you follow, well you see that they’re not truly evil; they’re just doing this for the greater good. They’re morally grey, and that’s a pretty good thing to see in the antagonists. What they’re doing has essentially been going on for thousands of years, they’re just modernised it.

And yes, I am fully aware that this film was co-written by Joss Whedon. He has a talent for writing television shows which are cancelled well before their time, and for writing kick-ass female characters. And for writing Alien: Resurrection Side note: Whedon wanted to write a completely different ending, which involved the crew fighting the Alien Newborn (Which also had a completely different design) on Earth, but the studio kept making him re-write it. I wonder what you get if you give Wedon free reign over a production?

 

Oh yeah.

Anyway, moving on. Yes Whedon has a knack for creating some truly brilliant productions; ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, ‘Firefly’, ‘Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog’, ‘Toy Story’...apparently, and so on. So his input has put some much needed refreshment into the horror genre. That being said, as stated, Whedon also has a knack for creating some badass female characters; such as Buffy from, well, ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, Echo from ‘Dollhouse’, and River Tam from ‘Firefly’.

In this we get...um...uh...Thor? Yeah the main female characters aren’t that memorable to be honest. There’s Dana (Kristen Conolly) and Jules (Anna Hutchinson), also known as the Virgin and the Whore respectively. The male characters are slightly more memorable, with Chris Hemsworth being the best actor out of the three; though I think he’s more memorable because of his role as Thor in the Marvel films. We also have Holden/The Scholar (Jesse Williams), who is slightly memorable, and Marty/The Fool (Franz Kranz) who is actually probably the best character in the film, as he’s the only competent one. Granted he does smoke pot which made me think I was going to hate his character, but he turned out to be my favourite character.

 

Well, out of the main group anyway, my favourite characters have to be Richard (Richard Jenkins), Steve (Bradley Whitford), Wendy (Amy Acker) and Daniel (Brian White). Mainly because they’re not your average antagonists; again they only do this for the greater good, they don’t want to do this, they have to. They’re just normal people doing a job.

Of course it wouldn’t be a true Whedon production without some humour; there’s plenty of dark humour to enjoy in this, from the party going on while ignoring the horror on their screens, to Marty saying “I’m drawing the line, do NOT read the Latin!” and one of the monsters being listed in the credits as ‘Fornicus, Lord of Bondage and Pain’.

More spoilers. Sort of. There is a huge selection of monsters in this film. From zombies, to spectres, to wraiths, to unicorns, to zombies, to Pennywise the clown, to freaky porcelain people, to...wait a minute. A unicorn? Really? Well, okay, the unicorn proves to be just as dangerous as the other monsters, but it still seemed to have been an odd choice. That being said I can understand why the facility has a mechanism to get the monster holding cells to the main floor; they need to get the monsters in in the first place. But why do they have a button which empties ALL of them into the facility?! It’s like the old shows where the villain for some reason has a self-destruct button on their super weapon. Granted this does make the film extremely entertaining, and it is really funny when your staring at three zombies who are staring back, and then the elevators ding to signal the next wave of monsters.

Alongside that the effects are brilliant. It’s a cross between some really great make-up for zombies, and some believable CGI effects for a majority of the other monsters. I do want to talk about the ending, but I think it’s one of those where you’ll either love it or hate it. I like it, but disappointed with how the characters feel about it. That’s all I’ll tell you.

So overall, this is a brilliant film. It’s probably more suited for the horror fans, but anyone should enjoy it. The characters, every single one of them, are likeable, the story is great, the effects are fantastic, and the film is hugely entertaining. Joss Whedon and (Director) Drew Goddard, if I had a hat on I’d take it off to you.