Tooth and Nail (2007)

I am not having a good week with horror films. I mean, is it really that hard to make an entertaining horror film? Well, saying that 'The Cabin in the Woods' was a fun film to watch. And 'Evil Dead' was pretty good too. Whatever, anyway this film wasn't that good.

The world has ended, again, this time because the world ran out of oil. This has caused civilisation to break down and a group of survivors take refuge in an abandoned hospital. One day they rescue Neon (Rachel Miner), but find that she was being tracked by a group called the Rovers, a group of sadistic cannibals, including Jackal (Michael Madsen) and Mongrel (Vinnie Jones), who lay siege to the hospital.

You know, it's films like this that really show the worst of humanity. Whether it's a zombie apocalypse, the atmosphere breaking down, a meteor, or simply nature, we generally see the best in humanity. Oh sure, they all have marauders in there somewhere (Okay, maybe World War Z didn't have those) who show the darkest side of humanity...seriously why? The end of the world comes upon us and people lose their sense of fashion and want to be an 80s rebel?

Anyway, the world runs out of oil, kind of a big deal. Obviously. The world runs on oil, literally, it's used to fuel our cars. It's used in cooking, medicines, fertilisers, detergents, paintings, and other stuff. You know what? Nuclear power also helps fuel the world. And hydro power. And solar power. You know what has been in development for over a hundred years and became quite popular a year after this film? Electric cars. You know what helps crops grow? Bees pollinating them. Basically, everything that oil helps to power, there's an alternative. So the fact that, in this film, when the world runs out of oil, you're already losing me when you say food suddenly runs out and the first thing people do is wreck the rest of the planet. I don't see how society can fall apart just because oil runs dry, no matter how obsessed you think society is over the price of a gallon of oil.

Even then, the apocalypse setting doesn't really come into effect. It isn't really the surroundings, or the lack of people, it just doesn't seem to be set in a post apocalyptic world. It could be the fact that the character's seem to have plenty of clothes, nor is there a general lack of supplies. You could set it in the middle of the woods like 'Wrong Turn', and you'd virtually have the same film.

Setting that aside though, the film is boring. It repeats the same sequence three times throughout the film. First time, eh, it can be pretty good to watch, but it can get old really fast. Especially since the characters themselves can be sooooo dull. Only a few stand out, with Jackal and Mongrel probably being the most memorable. And, just like Madsen and Forsythe in 'Infection Z', Jackal and Mongrel only stand out because they're Madsen and Vinnie Jones. Then again you can tell Jones had a fair bit of fun with his role, while Madsen gave a slightly more energetic performance in recent years, even if his whistling seemed out of place and his intimidation forced.

The other two are Neon (Rachel Miner) and Dakota (Nicole DuPort). Rachel Miner stands out...because she's Meg from Supernatural, okay, look

How can you forget that look?

However, as much as I loved Miner in 'Supernatural', she isn't really that good in this. She was predictable, she was flat, I want to like her, I just can't. And Dakota, I just hated her. She just seemed to be so bland I barely noticed her, and then she starts yelling at Neon (God that's a stupid name), demanding why she doesn't have a plan. Basically as the film went on, I hated her more and more. Kind of like Nate. But those two were the ones who got the most development. And I had to look up what their names were instead of watching the film again.

Actually, I lie, Rider Strong is in this as Ford. And Michael Kelly is in this as Viper, who somehow gets shaving equipment in this post apocalyptic world. And I only know about them because Strong has been in 'Cabin Fever', 'Cabin Fever 2', and 'Pulse 3', while Kelly has been in the 'Dawn of the Dead' remake and 'Chronicle'. Though, Strong's character does have a sex scene...which, really does seem out of place, especially since the group were under siege at that point.

So. I did not like this one either. The story has been done and it feels out of place at times, the acting is forgettable, the characters equally so, and it has a very poor ending. I'll actually give a quick note in a spoiler section just after this. Good points, it does well on a short budget and it does good with some gory moments, but there isn't enough to save the film.

I...I'm not sure I can take another poor horror. I need some fear in my life. Something that looks damn scary.

Now there's a thought

Spoiler Section

The film tries to have a twist ending. After everything, with this idea that the Rovers are all gone, the film quickly reminds us that Mongrel is still alive. Which we already knew. And is still locked in a over-sized cupboard. So he's still not a threat.