Now that the Masque production of Nicholas Nickleby is finished, I can get back to reviewing Christmas films for this month. And so what can I say about this month's first film. Oh, I know, THIS FILM KILLS CHRISTMAS SPIRIT. That's it really. What? You want me to say more on this film? Well, what can I say about this?
Here Bill Goldberg of wrestling fame plays Santa Claus, who apparently is a murdering psychopath. He had a bet with an angel see, and he lost, meaning he had to be nice for a certain number of years. Well those years are off and Santa is getting back to what he loves to do. Our only hope is Nicholas (Douglas Smith), Mary (Emilie de Ravin...so this is what she did after 'Lost'), and Grandpa (Robert Gulp).
Okay, I said this film kills Christmas spirit, and it does, Hell there's one line which goes "end Christmas once and for all". Or something like that. But in all honesty, that was when I first watched it a few years back. Back then, I hated this film. It slowly but surely destroyed my Christmas spirit. I hated it so much I didn't want to watch it again. But I decided that, in order to review this film, I had to watch it again. And...I actually kind of enjoyed it this time round.
The plot...it's unique, I suppose I can say that. I suppose as a horror comedy, it's a pretty good tongue-in-cheek story. But at the same time, it's just stupid. I mean, Santa was good because he lost a curling match against an angel? Who was stupid enough to not have the bet for forever rather than 1000 years? Then he doesn't really have an objective, he targets Nicholas and Mary for some reason, but he goes after a bunch of random characters for some reason, whether they're good or bad. Then there's the fact that some scenes contradict each other, and Nicholas knows how to summon Santa's Hell-deer, somehow.
That being said, the film's main weakness is the script. Well, that and the characters. A majority of the characters are just bland, they don't have that much depth to them. The most developed character, is in actual fact Santa, and since he initially spent most of his time killing unlikable characters (Played bizarrely by James Caan, Rebecca Gayheart, and Chris Kattan, as well as others.
Nicholas however is completely unlikable. In fact the times I thoroughly enjoyed seeing his character was when he was getting hit in the face by a book, or when some guy on the internet made fun of him when Nicholas asked if the Santa tracker was real and that he was sixteen. And yes, it is creepy that the first thing a guy on a Santa tracker chat (Why does it have that?) asks is "how old are you?". Then there's a scene explaining why he doesn't like Christmas, which, as said earlier, is contradicted in a later scene. Then again even if it was true, I'm pretty sure Kate from 'Gremlins' has a much better reason.
The effects. I suppose they aren't bad, but they're not good either. I mean, look at Fran Drescher there, her hair is on fire, it isn't a bad effect, but I just can't take it seriously. The same goes for most, if not all, the rest of the effects in this film. Especially green screens.
Now for the comedy aspect, it isn't really that funny. There are one liners and puns which will make James Bond blush. There are some funny moments, like James Caan's reaction to the dog being kicked by Santa and Santa cleaning a strip pole before using it. Oh and a certain couple of cursing kids blowing up. That was brilliant.
But while the film isn't the funny, or that good for a matter of fact, it was in fact entertaining. The acting tries its best against the script, but while the characters are bland, the effects are adequate, the plot is weird, it is actually a guilty pleasure. Then again, I only enjoyed it the second time I watched it. The first time, you may not be so lucky to enjoy it. It is a film that gets better the more you watch it, not that much better, but better. But it's definitely one which would benefit from watching with mates while drunk.
Thank you for scrolling down some more. I'm doing a bit of advertising here. My friend Rebecca Sturdgess has published a book, the first in a series. The Burnwick Series to be precise. We follow Nadia Stewarts, who is dumped by her father in the town of Burnwick with her Aunt, citing that it isn't safe. Why? I don't know, I haven't read that far yet. But as the days go by, Nadia finds that Burnwick isn't all that safe either.
I admit I've only read the inside page and the prologue, but from what I've read, as well as her previous works, it is really good. I am intrigued by it so far to say the least. If you want a review of it...we'll have to see what she says. And I need to read it. I've got my copy right next to me, just waiting for me to stop typing this.
If you're somewhat interested or you're looking for a Christmas present, please do buy this. Here's the link:
http://www.lulu.com/shop/r-l-sturdgess/burning-secrets/paperback/product-20562666.html;jsessionid=5AA3116D5E91D8A7D90D8E27F57F04B5?mid=social_facebook_pubsharefb
Shipping information you'll find out on the site, I don't know what it's like. But thank you for taking the time to read this.
Coming up next...more serial killing Santa's!
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