Top Ten Worst Adverts

You know what has become an everyday occurrence in our lives? Something that most people come across every day, either in their homes or outside. Adverts. Sure inventions like Sky Plus or Virgin Media popularised the live recording function which enables people to fast forward through those pesky adverts, but in all honesty, I don’t mind them. Sure I wouldn’t miss them if I did fast forward through an advert break, but the advert break allows the viewer to take a minute to absorb what they just watched. Also product placement.

But while you get your good adverts, you get your share of bad adverts, and that’s what I’m looking at here. Just TV adverts mind you, I think most posters are just segments of the television advert anyway.

Whatever the case, here’s the top ten worst adverts I have come across.

10. We buy any car.com – Webuyanycar.com

Do I really need to explain why this advert is bad?  Okay, admittedly, the advert wasn’t that bad at first. The tune was catchy, the dancing was pretty good, and the newsreader was bearable.

And then we heard it for the second time. Then the third. And the fourth. And that catchy tune is now starting to annoy people. That newsreader is becoming obnoxious and the dancing is getting pretentious.

Yeah the main problem was repetition, it’s just not a good advert to watch on multiple occasions. As you see it more and more, you see how bad it really is, at how corny and irritating the whole thing is.

That, and the Office of Fair Trading found that some of the company’s practices were misleading.

http://youtu.be/MXiJBp7HK5o

9. Any Vanish commercial with the pink shirt lady – Vanish

How can I start this off? Firstly, any acting you see is awful. Yeah, I can really believe you’re really distraught at having that one stain on the one top. I guess that and the one she’s wearing are the only tops she has.

But then a Vanish lady suddenly appears. While the first woman should be yelling “Who the Hell are you?”, “Get out of my house!” and, in one advert, “Oh God please put down my child, I’ll do whatever you want,”, she appears happy that this random woman has just broken into her house and is telling her how to clean her clothes in a way that no-one cleans them. Well when was the last time you put your shirts into fish tanks?

This whole advert relies on the fact that the Vanish woman breaks into people’s houses and tells them how to do things.

http://youtu.be/-QYV-KQmF5M

8. Gadget Master - Ford

Straight away I hated this advert. I don’t like the song, I hate the tune, I didn’t like the animation, and it just seems really stupid to me. And the fact that the videos on the thatguywiththeglasses site kept playing this advert every single time for a while didn’t help.

Why is a 2D animation hanging out with a Muppet? Yes it’s nitpicking, but still. Then it’s just the whole ‘Gadget Master’ thing, who would have all this stuff in their car? Okay, a Gadget Master, but that’s not the point! I mean, a “gadget that makes pasta”? First of all, why does this gadget disappear? Can it shrink? Does it have a cloaking device? And worst of all, it’s been put on the roof, not only will this block the windscreen, but it’ll go onto what is most likely a dirty car then a dirty floor.

Then there’s the “can you do this?”, in which the person with the normal car next to the Gadget Master, simply connects her phone to her car via Bluetooth. Let’s be honest, he’s the Gadget Master, he has a hands-free phone, he has a gadget that makes pasta, I’m pretty sure he has Bluetooth.

Of course that’s if you care if the Bluetooth can link with the car in the first place. Me? I have CDs, radio or my iPod to link up to it. But then again, I am the kind of guy who likes to keep his phone and iPod separate.

http://youtu.be/fT9QKhWVL10

7. Duffy Advert – Diet Coke

I am not a fan of Duffy’s singing, okay, she’s a chipmunk. I’m surprised Duffy released a single, let alone two albums and becoming popular enough to appear in a TV advert. Then again I guess people did see this as only two of the six singles released from her first album were big successes, while the second album only released one single. Even Rebecca Black released four singles.

Moving on from my hatred of Duffy...okay I can’t. Her voice is the main reason why I hate this thing! It’s so irritating! Everything is off! Tone! Pitch! Her helium voice!

Moving on though, it starts off with her at a concert, having a mini break. First of all, water is much better than a diet coke to cool off and relax your throat. Secondly, Duffy sees a bike and, knowing that she has fans (Somehow) waiting for her to come back on and continue her concert, she decides to go for a bike ride. Not only does this show how bad security is at protecting her, it shows what Duffy thinks of her fans; important enough to ignore and disappear for a bit.

Then, she bizarrely decides to ride her bike through a supermarket. WHY?! Why didn’t security grab her? Or are people allowed to ride their bikes in the supermarket now?

I’m not even sure how this is an advert. The product in question only appears for about seven seconds in this advert which runs for one minute! I thought Diet Coke was just meant to be a great tasting drink with no sugar, why does it make Duffy go for a random bike ride?

Oh yeah, the adverts bad, and it’s pretty much the reason why Duffy’s career died.

http://youtu.be/iUW8GrOIZcQ

6. WAG Advert – Pot Noodle

Oh God this advert. I just don’t get it. Okay, that’s a lie, I can kind of see it. The whole tagline is “why try harder”, which was shown effectively since the main character is a spoilt cow.

The main problem? The spoilt WAG, is a guy. A guy dressed in drag. Is that meant to be funny? I mean, he’s got a full grown beard so I guess it’s suppose to be funny, but what’s the joke? That it’s a guy playing a woman? Yeah, that was funny back in.......never.

And that’s the thing with this advert, it’s trying to be funny, but it isn’t. WAG says s/he’s going for a swim, but is being pushed by someone. Ok that’s not funny. Spray tan...why would I want to look at a fat guy’s arse? Aerobics, blow dry, jacuzzi, treadmill to the front door, those things aren’t funny!

This unfunny advert is just painful to watch. Why try harder? Because you’ll end up with this rubbish.

http://youtu.be/Q9yUK-mUJqc

5. The Wolf is Murdered – The Guardian

I’m probably biased against this advert straight away because I don’t like the Guardian newspaper. That whole strict left wing persona which thinks they should run the country. But that’s just me.

The thing with this advert, is it’s stupid. Okay, the fairy tale bit where the three little pigs killed the big bad wolf in self defence was a nice little touch, albeit not realistic, and it shows how social interaction has pretty much become the norm in modern life. But when you think about it, this newspaper is calling the general public stupid morons.

Firstly we see a cauldron, then the Guardian website saying that the wolf has been boiled alive. The three pigs are arrested, and the public get on the pigs side with the whole “protect your home against burglars (Or in this case a demolisher)” scenario. Now, I’m all up for protecting my home from an intruder, it’s self defence. The thing that people here have forgotten though, is that the wolf was BOILED ALIVE. That’s not self defence! That’s murder!

It then turned out the wolf had asthma, so he couldn’t have been able to blow down houses. So why did some people on Twitter say that he did? Where was the wreckage? Where was the rubble? And if the pigs blew it up, surely inspectors would notice that the house wasn’t blown down.

It then turns out that the pigs killed the wolf to frame him for insurance fraud, because they couldn’t afford to pay their mortgage because the rates were too high. Well, now that surely must make a difference. Not only did the pigs kill the wolf in a most painful way, the wolf was INNOCENT! Well, surely the public must now see the evil inside these pigs.

OF COURSE NOT! People are now saying how they sympathise with the pigs and how they’re either behind on their repayments or how they’ve lost everything (Except a computer and internet broadband otherwise they couldn’t put that post on Twitter). Then there’s public outrage because mortgage defaults are soaring. So, what the Guardian is saying is, is that getting behind on mortgage repayments, is a morally good excuse for MURDER!

And THEN, the people RIOT! Well done Guardian! You just said that the British public approve of murderers, as long as they’re in the same situation! Doesn’t anyone else see that the Guardian is insulting you? That they’re calling you idiots? Can you see why I don’t like this advert?


Still, at least it's not the Daily Mirror

http://youtu.be/WW_dBQPAeDY

4. Poo at Paul’s - Glade

Okay, the last six adverts, you can say are marmite; you either love them, or hate them. We’re now getting into the ones universally hated. Our next one, oh boy.

Where does this film suck? Is it the fact that the mother and child are either really bad at acting, or they’re really badly dubbed? The kid is definitely dubbed. Is it that the kid needs to be slapped across the face for his behaviour? Is it that the lines of dialogue for this rubbish are complete and utter crap? Is it that no-one, especially a kid, talks like that? Is it the fact that Paul will feel that his “friend” is using him for his toilet?

Or is it just crap?

http://youtu.be/D2T6YdEcp6w

3. Frosties Kid - Frosties

Ah this advert, the one where the kid was so despised for his part, that people spread rumours that he killed himself from all the bullying.

Someone did actually put together a pretty good video analysing the advert, pointing out some of the fundamental flaws, such as who the Hell eats Frosties on a “plate”, pronouncing pirate as “pie-rate” so it can rhyme with the previous line, asking why there’s a bloke in a crate, and pondering why the guy is floating upwards into the sky at the end. It also asks who the Hell lives in the Empire State. In all fairness New York is known to sometimes be called the Empire State, but then again the advert seems to insinuate that it meant the Empire State Building, which is an office complex.

But it misses so many other questions, such as what’s the point of having a breakfast machine right next to your bed which not only wakes you up but pours your Frosties into a bowl, when you’re going to ignore it and go to the kitchen? Who takes cereal on a date? What does it matter if you live in Australia? And why was there a random pirate?

But there are so many other problems with this advert. The lines are awful, some of which (As you’ve guessed) don’t make sense, the guy is obviously dubbed, the guy himself has a huge grin that makes him look obnoxious and comes off pretentious, and the whole thing just reeks of corniness.

The kid didn’t kill himself, and I will not wish that he did, no matter how much I hate this advert. But if I was him I’d distance myself away from this advert, as far away as possible......hmm, maybe that's what he was doing at the end.

http://youtu.be/NUKSxsxeBK4

2.Super Mix - Haribo

.......Oh dear God. I remember some really good adverts from Haribo from when I was a kid, so imagine my horror when this first came on our television screens, what, two years ago I think it was?

You’d think it was going to have a good old family sing along, mainly because of the tune, the tune isn’t a problem. It gets you in the mood. And then the kid opens his mouth. And then his sister, then the parents join in.

Oh dear God they’re horrible! Did anyone actually listen to them before they sung? Especially the kids! At least get someone who can actually sing for your singing advert Haribo!

And then there’s the actual lyrics. “Oh, so smooth”, “Love them soft”, why? Okay, I never really thought of Haribo sweets being smooth, it never really crossed my mind when eating them. Then “love them soft?”...why? I mean, of course Haribo sweets are soft, aren’t most sweet? Then the dad sings “Squidgy! Squidgy baby!” in relation to a jelly baby. WHY?! Who the Hell sings that?! Heck! Who the Hell says that in normal conversation?! You know what, you can’t even save yourselves by turning down the volume, because the advert provides SUBTITLES! Apparently you can’t escape this even if your deaf.

Who on Earth thought that this crappy singing family, singing this crappy song, would be a catchy tune worthy of people wanting to sing along?

Well, at least it can’t get any worse right?

http://youtu.be/eoX6l6klziU

1. Naturally Juicy – Orangina

...............................What the Hell is wrong with you?!

I saw this advert randomly while I was in France a few years ago, and...my God what is wrong with these people?!

The animals acting as humans, but...everything else. The strip club scenario, the inter-species relationships which act against God, the animals wearing skimpy clothes, the lizard wrapping its tongue around his partners body, the octopus woman squeezing oranges where her breasts should be, the panda being stripped of her bathing suit so that she’s naked...everything about this is wrong!

But most of all, this advert...sexualises...animals. The animals having breasts, wearing skimpy clothing, acting sexy...THEY’RE ANIMALS! Who the Hell would find an animal sexy?! Why would I find this appealing?! Who the Hell thought this was a good idea?! Basically go see the Nostalgia Critic’s rant against Lola in the ‘Space Jam’ review.

This is the most disturbing advert I have ever seen, and one that has haunted my memories since.

http://youtu.be/ck14LKBI9GM

And those were the worst adverts I have seen so far in my life. And by God they were awful, but at least they can’t get worse than pole dancing animals right? Right?...Right?

An Hour of: Game of Thrones (Video Game)

So, the television series of ‘Game of Thrones’...it’s awesome. The books of ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’...admittedly I still need to read them, but the general feeling is that it’s awesome. The video game of ‘Game of Thrones’...yeah...

Starting it up we get a little cutscene which basically gives us the general background, you know, the fall of the Targaryens, Robert Baratheon’s ascendance to the throne, the Night’s Watch, etc, etc. It does give some great detail about the history of this world and a reminder for fans of the franchise, but at the same time, especially if you’re new to it or have no idea about the franchise and thought the game looked good, you learn virtually nothing from it. Who are the Targaryens? Who’s Robert Baratheon? What are Wildlings? Why is the Night’s Watch necessary? Why is it that only you have to be a volunteer, criminal, or exile to join it? Why do you have to give up your past life?

Yes these are all questions which can’t be answered straight away, but if you look at the introduction to ‘Dragon Age: Origins’, we get pretty much all the information we needed. We learn what the Darkspawn are, how they were created, the threat they possess, what an Archdemon is and what the Grey Wardens are. Here, we’re thrown in the deep end. Granted most, if not all, players will know of the franchise, but at the same time even the experienced players will be mesmerised by how the game glances over all this information.

Anyway after that bit of info, we’re introduced to Gorold, who is on the run from the main character, War from the ‘Darksiders’ franchise, voiced by Kain from the ‘Legacy of Kain’ series. Okay he’s actually called Mors Westford, but he might as well be War. Anyway, Gorold is trying to flee from the Wall and Mors is tasked to bring him back, dead or alive.

Now, it’s here that I start to waiver. The graphics, I’m not too fussed about, they’re blocky I know but they’re relatively the same as the ones in ‘Dragon Age: Origins’. By the way I keep comparing it to ‘Dragon Age’ because the game keeps reminding me of it. Anyway, yeah the graphics could have done with some improving, some objects and the movement is sharp, but other aspects pop up, like the facial features or the odd environmental object. ‘Especially the dog, ‘Dragon Age’ had a more life-like mabari hound, the ‘Game of Thrones’ dog looks like it was made out of plasticine.

But my God the voice acting. First of all, I’ll give the game makers credit for getting some of the actors from the television show to either reprise their characters or voice whoever, but most of them are just...ugh. The voice actor for Gorold I will say is pretty damn good, or at least his first line was. The rest of the dialogue sounds “Bland bland bland bland bland,” “Oh yeah? Well bland bland! Bland bland”.

That and the character of Gorold was completely and utterly pointless, as he is executed in the next five minutes, and is subsequently never mentioned again. For now anyway, remember, I’ve only played an hours’ worth.

But that’s not all, the lip-syncing is AWFUL. The mouth movements hardly match the characters speech, sometimes the mouth shuts when the character is still speaking, and other times the mouth is moving when the character has long since stopped talking. And if you look on the official website for the game (Under ‘The Game’, sub heading ‘The Production’), you’ll come across this caption; “Motion-capture, voice acting for each character and lip-sync will bring all the inhabitants of Westeros to life and will actively participate in immersing the player in a huge, mind blowing universe”. It’s like they’re saying they’re proud of the piece of crap voice acting/lip-syncing that they created. I saw better lip-syncing on the ‘Spyro the Dragon’ game for the Playstation One!

The next screen shot starts off with ‘Chapter 1: Mors’, which is a pretty good throwback to the books since the chapters were just people’s names anyway. It tells us that Mors’ crime was that he acted with integrity (I’m expecting to see Kurt Angle somewhere around here) and therefore he chose to go to the wall rather than death. The second paragraph reads “But wouldn’t death have been a far sweeter fate than a life of misery and violence?”. Well don’t ask me, I didn’t make this choice.

In fact, why didn’t I make this choice? For an RPG so much appears to have happened to the character and yet nothing has been our choice. Maybe our introduction to the game should have been what led to Mors being sent to the Wall, like killing an obnoxious but powerful political figure, then flash forward fifteen years. Heck! Give us the option to change the guys outfit at least!

I suppose we can at least choose his fighting style, attributes, abilities, skill points, and strengths and weaknesses. Okay, most of these things are standard RPG elements, like the abilities which take the form of an ability tree, something which more and more RPG games are taking into effect, such as ‘Dragon Age 2’ or ‘Mass Effect 3’. The strengths and weaknesses bit, in my opinion, is broken. It can lead to some unique playthroughs, I guess, though in all honesty I forgot that I did this.

But the main problem with it, is that the strengths and weaknesses have to balance out, and I don’t mean one weakness for every strength. The strengths, have a rating system I suppose you should call it. Like ‘Born Leader’ is worth four points, which means that you now need weaknesses which amount to four points worth. You can’t select the direct opposite, like if you selected ‘Born Leader’ you can’t be a ‘Bad Leader’, which does make sense. The problem, is that, once the opposite is gone, you’re left with weaknesses which will severely damage your gameplay, and, most of the time, you’re forced to take on more weaknesses than you have strengths.

After all that Mors returns to Castle Black with Gorold where we get some more background detail, which is basically forgettable since the voice actors don’t seem to care. We’re also introduced to I don’t care, I still don’t care, and Guy who talks but I still don’t care about. They’re not worth much. We also see how truly awful the dog looks against the ground, the ground for God’s sake!

Granted we do get some character development from Mors, namely that while he was tasked to hunt down Gorold and calls him a traitor, Mors still has a sense of respect for Gorold, defending him against the three who I do not care about. But, again, why weren’t we given a choice here? To either defend or allow these nameless morons to attack Gorold? That would enable the player to feel/have more control over the character they’re suppose to characterise.

The next scene we get to meet Lord Commander Jeor Mormont, voiced by his television counterpart James Cosmo, where he tells us that one of the recruits isn’t there because he was assaulted. It’s in this scene that we can finally select a dialogue option for Mors, who is failing to decide which side he wants to put whichever hand on (Seriously he puts his right hand on his right side, then his left hand on his left, then his right again! Then he puts his arms at his sides again a second later! What was the point in animating that?). The dialogue option, meanwhile, is kind of a paragon or renegade choice I suppose. We can finally start to shape Mors’ personality in the way that we want.

Gorold then says “The brat certainly was a pretty boy...What a pity I never managed to corner him”. Okay, did Gorold just say he wanted to rape this new recruit? Did he insinuate that the new recruit WAS raped? Well, that’s great, I was just starting to find this guy interesting and likeable, now I want him to die like the rest. Wait a minute...this is a new recruit, who just took his vow...how does Gorold know what he looks like? I admit, it’s been a while since I’ve seen the television series, I’ll have to get Season One, see if that answers my question.

So after the Lord Commander tells the recruits stuff that I’m sure they’ve already been told at the ceremony where they took their oaths, Gorold is finally executed. As said he was getting interesting, I’d have liked to have learned more about him. Then he said he wanted to rape new guy so I no longer care. We do see the immense respect Mors and Gorold have for each other, which was a good touch, I’ll admit it.

We then finally get to control Mors, and are told to meet the recruits at another part of the castle grounds to start training. And while looking at the map in the top right corner, I see that there are door icons and objective marker...which both look a lot similar to each other which lead to me getting lost quite easily. Great start.

Once I finally found the training area, I got to try out the combat controls. It’s...bad. I mean, for ‘Dragon Age: Origins’, all you have to do is press a button and your character will just continuously use the same basic move, unless you press another button. For ‘Dragon Age 2’ you have to keep pressing buttons, it makes you feel like you’re doing more. ‘Game of Thrones’...it’s a combination of both. You have to keep pressing buttons, but only three at a time for the attack queue.

That and the movements are soooooo slooooooow. I had gotten bored by the time Mors had defeated the first recruit, and I got the impression he was meant to beat them with ease. Another ‘Dragon Age’ comparison, while in that game you can select up to six moves which you can easily select in combat, in ‘Game of Thrones’ in order to select more moves, you need to press the shoulder button and then select a move, all of which feels like it’s taking forever (Even though it’ll probably take a minute in order to actually use the attack).

In its defence it’s probably because I went with the two handed weapons stance and put most of my points into strength and endurance rather than agility, but still, the combat is slow.

By the way, the recruits we’re introduced to are Ronnet Hill, who has a voice so frustratingly annoying you want to punch him, Terrence Celtigar, who in all fairness isn’t that bad a character, and Patrek and Poddy, two people who aren’t really introduced or that memorable (Especially since Patrek isn’t even with us on the first proper mission).

The Lord Commander then turns up to say that the fifth recruit has died of his injuries from the hands of Cregan, who the Lord Commander pointlessly says is “one of ours”. Seriously, we already knew that it was another member of the Night’s Watch who did this, why repeat it like it was new information?

Anyway, we set off to Icemark, Cregan’s destination, however Wildling’s have attacked  Cregan and his men. After slashing our way through some Wildling’s, we come across Cregan who is dying of his wounds. Cregan, before he dies, says he lured some of the Wildling’s away so that his men could attempt to escape. Moving on we come across more Wildlings who are burning an unlucky prisoner on a stake. After killing them and finding another body further ahead, I attempted to go through a door, where two Wildling’s burst through and kill one of my men already.

And it’s here I got really frustrated. I was doing this on normal difficulty, maybe it was a poor selection of strengths and weaknesses, maybe I didn’t allocate my skill and attribute points right, but it took me FIVE attempts to kill these two Wildlings. FIVE! What the Hell did I do wrong?! I even ran away from them at one point so I could recover, but Mors then suddenly dropped dead for what appeared to be no reason! IT SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THIS HARD!

After FINALLY defeating them, Mors interrogates one of the dying Wildlings, and here we can either go renegade or paragon again, either offering the gentle mercy killing (I think), or prolonging his suffering and causing more pain. I liked that, it made the gameplay more interesting. I went with the prolonging the suffering option.

We learn that the Wildling’s leader, whose name escapes me, has somehow found a way to get through the Wall and into the Kingdom. How? I dunno. For two reasons, one; the Wildling dies. Two; my hour was up.

So, final thoughts on the game? Well................it’s not a bad game. Some of the graphics are okayish and a few characters can be compelling. That being said it isn’t a good game. While most of the graphics are okayish most of them are lacklustre, the lip-sync is a pile of crap, the voice acting sounds like they’re giving the bare minimum, and the combat system is just underwhelming.

The plot appeared to have been getting interesting at the point where I left it, but I felt like I was forcing myself to get to the hour mark, Hell I felt like I was forcing myself to get to the ten minute mark. The only good parts of this game feel like low rated rip-offs of other RPG games and you don’t get a lot of choices in the game which you’d think an RPG would offer.

Overall, it appears game developers haven’t learnt their mistake from ‘Naughty Bear’; execution. The game is just bland and a really big disappointment. Stick with the television series. And the books.

Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

So this is the second Snow White type film to come out this year, well, actually third since the Asylum released that ‘Mirror Mirror’ copy, but anyway, this version is the darkest one this year. Kind of.

Let’s start this off with the plot. In case you don’t know it by now. A Queen wishes for a daughter, which she gets said daughter, Queen dies and the Kingdom is invaded by an army made of glass. The King saves a woman, Ravenna, (Charlize Theron) from the glass army and marries her. But it turns out she was in charge of the glass army, murders the King and conquers the land. Fifteen years later Snow (Kristen Stewart) becomes the fairest of them all, and Ravenna learns from the Mirror (Christopher Obi) that she can become immortal if she takes Snow’s heart. Snow escapes thanks to some birds (I’ll get back to that later) and Revanna sends the huntsman Eric after her. He, of course, changes sides.

 

Firstly, the most obvious flaw in this film. The evil Queen is Charlize Theron. Snow White is Kristen Stewart. Snow White is suppose to be prettier than the Queen, you’ve screwed it up already movie! No offence to Stewart, she’s an attractive woman, but Theron is so much more beautiful than her. It’s nitpicking, I know.

The plot is good enough, it’s your the good vs. evil ploy which the modern Snow White productions seem to taking on, but as I said before, this is a much darker version. Or so I thought. Yes it has its dark moments, but the film has its Disney moments. I’ll explain, we see a younger Snow White (Raffey Cassidy) taking care of an injured bird, even though I should think that she’s causing great pain to that bird by holding it that tight. But anyway, this apparently means she becomes best friends with the birds. Don’t ask me how. But this apparently means she becomes best friends with every single other animal. Including a magnificent stag, which was a big lipped alligator moment. Though it did have an unexpected hilarious moment. But Jesus Christ, she uses this...ability I guess, to make a stop a troll attacking her and the Huntsman, and walk away! THAT'S STUPID!

 

With that, Kristen Stewart, was meh. I actually think she has the potential to be a great actress, but she’s just so dull. She’s so bland, she’s so emotionless, she is just a terrible actress. All she can do is at least smile! Oh...wow...she smiled...it’s so...unnatural...go back to being miserable. That’s better.

Along with that her character is so contradicting. She says she’s not used to light, despite her dungeon having a window, her speeches would annoy Elizabeth Swan, and, while she gets a ten second piece of advice from the Huntsman on how to use a knife, she becomes a sword fighter without us seeing her have any training. In all fairness she does use the knife technique later.

Moving on to Queen Revanna. I have to commend the film for expanding on the Queen apart from “she’s evil”, we actually see a more human side to the her, we see that she has emotions. Along with that we can see how evil and manipulative the Queen can be. With that being said, half the time Theron portrays Revanna as a spoilt little brat who’s having a temper tantrum since she didn’t get the her ice cream. But still, she does manage to bring us a character which we can feel sorry for and, in some ways, actually root for.

Chris Hemsworth in the meantime is, again, the most memorable.. He’s probably the best actor in this as well as the most effective, Hemsworth pours out his heart in one scene, we can really see how great an actor he is. And yet, I don’t think he should be in this film. He’s recruited by Revanna’s brother Finn (Sam Spruell), after we see him lose a bar fight, how did he make such an impact? Then again Finn is an idiot for basically saying straight out that the Queen is manipulating the Huntsman.

You also remember one of the main aspects in the Snow White tale right? The one concerning the seven dwarfs? Yeah. There’s eight. And I can barely remember any of them, they left that much of an impact. In fact, I didn’t even notice there were eight dwarfs until I was talking about the film with the Whalley and...Ryan, and mentioned there were seven dwarfs before being corrected.

The only thing I really remember about the dwarfs are that they’re actually averaged-sized, with actors including Nick Frost and Ray Winstone. And that I only remember because the Los Angeles dwarf theatre group Beacher’s Madhouse are planning are “one hundred midget march on Universal offices” (The Sun newspaper). That, and that one of the dwarfs is blind but precognitive, and like Griffin from ‘Men in Balck 3’ he grows tiresome quickly.

This film, is a mixed one for me, but in all honesty, it does lean towards the positive side. While the acting is mainly stupid, the plot is confusing at times and the script goes between dark and corny, there are some positive acting moments, mainly from Theron (At times) and Hemsworth, and the effects are actually quite amazing. What truly holds this film back is the bad casting choice of Stewart, but if you can look past that...there’s still a fair bit to hate. It’s not the best film in the world, but I would recommend that you give it a try; you might like it, but there’s plenty of things dragging it down.