The Muppets Wizard of Oz (2005)

You know how everyone loves the Muppet versions of great classics like ‘A Christmas Carol’ and ‘Treasure Island’? Do you know how much effort they put into those films, how great the acting talent was, how we laugh at the jokes? Yeah. Now imagine a Muppet film where you don’t get any of that.

I mean, while ‘The Muppets Take Manhattan’ and ‘Muppets From Space’ are my least favourites from the other Muppet films (In fact, they’re starting to grow on me a bit), they at least kept me entertained, which is more then I can say about this film.

Before I get into the plot, let’s have a look at who’s in this. I’ll go into more detail in a minute, but I’ll just read the names in order and give you my first reaction.

Ashanti: “A singer. That’s...good.

Queen Latifah: “Oh that’s even better,”

Jeffrey Tambor: “Tambor? Didn’t Gonzo’s people make you Earth’s ambassador and took you away? Is this where they dumped you?

David Alan Grier: The cop from ‘Jumangi’?...That’s pretty cool.

Quentin Tarantino: Ah that’s gre...wait, what?

Yes, that’s right, Quentin Tarantino is in this film. That’s...bizarre. Okay, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt fir...
Quentin Tarantino: And then...just as Dorothy and the Wicked Witch charge at each other, BAM, blowout fight scene! The gals whip out these huge samurai swords, and they just TEAR IT UP! I'm talking kung-fu! T'm talking walking on walls! I'm talking explosion everywhere! (Imitating explosions) Psshh. Psshh. Psshh! I'm talking Oz in flames! Burn baby burn! You digging it?
...Dude! This is a kids film!
Quentin Tarantino: Okay fine. We pull back on the violence. Pull back on the explosions. Pull back on the burn baby burn. Alright...ya' know. Less kung-fu. But instead, are ya ready? Ya ready?...Morphing. Crazy morphing! We're talking Piggy into Gonzo, mutating into Scooter. Scooter turning into a big, busty vampire vixen who explodes in a sea of crimson blood! Hahahahaha. All done in the classic Japanese anime style. You know, for the kids.
...................................What the Hell is wrong with you?! This is a Muppet film! Not 'Ichi the Killer'!
Kermit the Frog: Um, yeah. Sounds...expensive.
Really Kermit? That's your only criticism here? Not "this will give kids nightmares for ten years?" And yes, this was Tarantino's only scene in the film. And he got one of the top billing slots! His scene was pointless! All it did was break the flow of the film!

Granted he should get top billing compared to the other actors and actresses in this! Okay, Grier as Uncle Henry is actually really good and, while I’m not a fan of hers, Queen Latifah has done quite a few films and TV shows, at least she has some acting talent to play Aunty Em.

But Ashanti? She can sing, I’ll give her that, but she can’t act to save her life! And guess what? She plays Dorothy! Yeah! We have to deal with her for the whole bloody film! And what does Ashanti follow this film up with? ‘John Tucker Must Die’ and ‘Resident Evil: Extinction’...where she was pecked to death by crows. Something Paul W.S. Anderson got right with that franchise.

Anyway, the film is dragged down A LOT by Dorothy, mainly because of Ashanti, but also because of other aspects. Let’s have a look at the basis of ‘The Wizard of Oz’, Dorothy wants to run away from home, but being sent to Oz makes her embrace her home and family, about the love, care and support family can provide. In this film, Kermit is the Scarecrow, Gonzo is the Tin Man and Fozzie Bear is the Lion. Bizarrely Pepe is Toto, because Dorothy isn’t allowed to keep dogs, so she has a pet prawn. What? Was Rowlf the Dog not available? Anyway.

Scarecrow: I want a brain.

Ah yes.

Tin Man: I want a heart.

Yep, that sounds right.

Lion: I want courage.

Yes everything’s in...

Dorothy: I want to be famous!

...order...what did you just say?

Yes, Dorothy wants to go to see the Wizard, not because she wants to go home, but because she wants to be a famous star. You selfish bitch! Are you serious? You just crushed the whole point of the Wizard of Oz storyline! And you know what? She gets her wish from the Wizard and then decides she wants to go home! She even essentially slats the Wizard and tries to make us feel bad, but it’s your own damn fault! And then when she gets home she says she wants to stay home, but Aunty Em persuades her to go with the Muppets and be a superstar. So Dorothy effectively learns NOTHING! I guess Aunty Em thought it was better when she was gone.

So why does Dorothy want to become a movie star rather than go home? She’s shallow I suppose. Is that really how shallow society has become? Is that how trivial family and a normal life has become? I think the producers wanted the film to appeal to a younger audience, somehow forgetting that it’s a Muppet film and ALREADY appeals to a younger audience!

But then again it alienates the younger audience with the jokes in this film. Pretty much every single joke in this film is for a more mature audience, such as the Tarantino thing above, or Angel Marie wanting to be spanked. The other jokes are all pop culture references, which will either go over your head, or aren’t funny; whoever wrote the jokes seems to have mixed up the Muppets traditional fourth wall jokes with pop culture. So the film has alienated the younger audience, and bores the older audience. The special effects are awful too.

In relation to the original story, the film does more closely resemble the book, which is good in a way, it keeps the fact that the Wicked Witch of the West (Miss Piggy) controlling the Winged Monkeys via a magical cap and the Kalidahs are also kept in. It stuck to it too well, with the Lion saving Dorothy by himself after the Scarecrow and Tin Man are torn apart. While it does stick to the book, it does mean that Scarecrow and Tin Man are wasted, whereas in the 1939 film, they help save the day and can actually learn something.

So yeah, this film is awful. The acting from most of the humans are mediocre and the Muppet Pepe was pretty good, but Ashanti is terrible, any decent actor is greatly underused, the effects are crap, forgettable songs, the jokes are just dreadful, Hell, the Muppets themselves look bored stiff! This film lacks the magic that any of the previous Muppet films had, and on its own it’s just an awful, awful movie.