Underworld: Awakening

This...is a hard film to review. Why? Well, firstly let’s talk about the premise of the ‘Underworld’ franchise. In the background of human society, a war rages on between vampires and Lycans a.k.a werewolves. Selene, played by Kate Beckinsale, is a Death Dealer, which is essentially a highly trained vampire warrior. Selene is tasked to kill Lycans as they killed her family, but she falls in love with Michael (Scott Speedman), a recently turned Lycan who’s destined to become a vampire-Lycan hybrid. After learning that her vampire father figure Viktor (Bill Nighy) was the one who killed her family, she kills him and she and Michael go on the run.

Now after three films, one of which was a prequel, humanity has finally found out that vampires and werewolves exist. How I don’t know as the film never gives us a reason, all we get is a brief news report saying “since the discovery of the non-humans”. It essentially goes into X-Men territory, as humanity organises a purging process of the vampires and Lycans. Michael and Selene are taken prisoner so that the humans can experiment on the hybrid...and the hybrid daughter that Selena was carrying. Which is odd. Humans were killing vampires and werewolves left, right and centre, but they take Selene hostage on the off chance that she was pregnant? How did they even know she was pregnant?

Now, there was the major disappointment in this film. From what I understood, I thought that the film would turn from a war between two species into a war between three species; humanity vs. werewolves vs. vampires. It isn’t. No, we essentially skip right past that, where humanity has won and both vampires and Lycans are virtually extinct, save for a few small groups. Having a three-way war would have been really interesting, we could have had uneasy alliances, betrayals, one huge climatic battle, but alas we do not get that.

Then again the reason we did not have that, would be because of the plot. As in we do not have one. Seriously, the 88 minute film is made up of battle scenes which lasted 68 minutes, and plot 20 minutes. It seemed that the premise was to just have one long action sequence, it just wanted to get one action scene to the next. There was one point when Selene and her daughter Subject Two (Though IMDB and Wikipedia both list her as Eve, I didn’t hear anyone call her that) are taken in to a vampire coven (Which I’ll get back to in a minute), then we are told that their location has been compromised. All I kept thinking was “How?”. Seriously, they weren’t followed, we didn’t see a scouting party, the Lycan’s just decided to show up. You could’ve at least shown one werewolf sniffing for a scent.

Oh right, yes, I forgot, the Lycan’s are the bad guys, which I thought was actually a bad choice. Why? Well, because we just spent three films where the Lycan’s were the good guys! Yeah! The first film (Which was subsequently shown in the third film) we find that the vampires had enslaved the werewolves, and after the Lycan called Lucian fell in love with Viktor’s daughter Sonja (in the third film played by Rhona Mitra), where they conceive a child. Viktor kills Sonja and the unborn child, which causes Lucian to start the werewolf rebellion, both for revenge for the death of his loved one and unborn child, and to free his species. The second film meanwhile had a hybrid vampire Elder antagonist.

Granted, the Lycan’s in this tricked both humanity and vampires by pretending to be extinct, however they instead infiltrated the human company Antigen, where they attempt to develop the means to become stronger, and immune to silver, effectively becoming unstoppable. I think the vampires were just jealous since they didn’t think of it first. While they were did serve an effective role as antagonists, it was still hard to see them as the villains, particularly with the Werewolfasaurus Rex.

Yeah, the Werewolfasaurus Rex, a.k.a Quint Lane (Kris Holden-Reid), the son of the “human” scientist Dr. Jacob Lane (Stephen Rea). Believe me, it was obvious that the Mega Ultra Lycan is the son of the scientist the second it’s revealed that Jacob Lane is a Lycan. The Werewolfasaurus Rex is essentially the first Lycan to have been given more strength and silver immunity from the experiments on the hybrids. But the weird thing is, the Werewolfasaurus Rex is immune to silver, and we see that when Selene stabs and shoots him with silver, Hell, a silver blade is broken off in the Rex’s body, and the body heals over it! But, first of all, the Rex has immense strength, but it can’t knock down a wall? Secondly, Quint is immune to silver, but Selene manages to kill him...with silver. Selene puts a silver-dust grenade in Quint, and it kills him. Why? Yes, a grenade blew up inside him, but he heals instantly. Maybe it’s because he was in human form at the time, but surely his super-werewolf traits are enabled in human form, since he has the super Lycan fast healing ability in human form!

What else, ah yes, the vampire coven we come across, which is led by Thomas (Charles Dance). We initially meet his son, David (Theo James), and my God I hated him. I think it’s mainly due to the overacting of the guy who plays him, but it’s also because of his conflict with Thomas. While David wants Selene to teach them how to fight so that they can fight back, while Thomas is weary of Selene and Subject Two being at the coven, as he believes they’ll bring danger with them, and wants to hide. And, to be honest, I support Thomas. He doesn’t mean to come off as a hindrance to the main characters, he only wants to support his followers and keep them safe.

Unlike Thomas, who comes off as the guy who thinks that committing the genocide of the human race makes up for the near genocide of vampire-kind. I can see where Thomas is coming from, that they shouldn’t cower and wait for the inevitable, but he is such an unlikeable character to me, he thinks he knows best. He does manage to get Selene on his side, as she gives one of the most stupid lines ever; “Running away isn’t survival”. Uh, yes it is, evidenced by the fact that Thomas and everyone else is still alive before your arrival. Proven by the fact that when Thomas gets a majority of the coven to defend against a Lycan attack, and all but five of them are slaughtered, including Thomas.

The only reason why there are survivors, is because David gave them Subject Two, who the Lycans wanted. You may think he’s selfish, but he’s the only reason why people survived. But then comes a really stupid moment. While Thomas’ death would’ve created meaning, would’ve created something important, Selene brings him back to life! What the Hell?! Are you kidding me?! Keeping him dead is the better option, I hated him before but his death would’ve given purpose, now the death scene was just pointless! And when did Selene learn she could do that? Why would she do that?!

Oh, and then we have the human detective Sebastian (Michael Ealy), he was kind of pointless. He didn’t really serve much purpose, apart from telling Selene where the Lycans at Antigen were taking her daughter when she broke in, that’s it! There was another scene where he was telling a rookie that a recent murder wasn’t a Lycan attack because the Lycan’s were extinct, but he later says to Selene he had a feeling that they weren’t, in which case why did he make such a strong argument against the idea that they were still around?

Subject Two meanwhile is an interesting character, she has had no contact with the outside world, she had no contact with her mother for twelve years, she and Selene even had a pretty good conversation where she says that Selene is cold, but Selene replies that her “heart is broken”; since she thinks that Michael is dead. India Eisley, the actress portraying Subject Two, is pretty good as well...unless she’s acting out the hybrid form. She looked really stupid and terrible while portraying that side of her. And of course we have the ‘rinse and repeat’ method of Selene telling Project Two to stay out of the way while she fights, but the thing is, Subject Two tore a Lycan’s head apart with HER BARE HANDS! I think she can look after herself.

And once again, the 3D was pointless. I was majorly disappointed, not because of the lack of 3D, but because all the other films looked like the franchise was begging for 3D to come in. Actually I lie, there was one scene where the 3D was brilliant; the whip during the battle scene at the coven. It looked superb and really effective. Any other moment of 3D was either terrible, or the film cut to something else almost immediately.

But despite these bad points...I still liked it. To be honest, this is probably my favourite out of the Underworld franchise. The acting was pretty decent, particularly from Kate Beckinsale...in that signature...tight leather outfit.............anyway, yes, the effects were great and, despite the lacking of a plot, the action scenes definitely made up for it. The action scenes were superb, they kept you entertained, and that’s the main purpose for an action film. It’s a bad film, but, to be honest, you won’t care in the slightest.

Scar (2008)

Do you remember my ‘Top 11 Movie Villains’ list had Angela Bettis (as May) at number three? Well it’s about time I actually saw her in something else! And what better film to do alongside ‘The Human Centipede’ films and ‘Feed’, than her 2008 film ‘Scar’. By the way in case you haven’t noticed, I am listing films under their UK release.

Anyway, ‘Scar’ follows Joan Burrows (Angela Bettis), a survivor of serial killer Bishop (Ben Cotton); a killer who takes two people hostage and tortures them one at a time until one of the hostages tells him to kill the other. Interesting premise, no?

Yeah, there is no problem with the plot, the plot is fine. It’s your standard Scooby Doo plot, there’s a killer around and everyone’s trying to find out who’s behind it. Joan thinks it’s Bishop, but it obviously isn’t since he’s dead. Believe me, not only is it obvious that the Bishop character is dead in ‘present’ day, but the characters say it nearly all the time. Also Joan, it is very hard for someone to recover from having their body drained dry. Then again this is the same woman who shouted at cops that ‘Bishop’ is getting away...while holding a knife...covered in blood.

I was trying to wait till later to say this, but I can’t really continue without saying it. The film’s plot is interesting, but, the film itself is so utterly dull, there’s no denying it. The characters are either dull or infuriating, the chemistry between them is non-existent, the pace is slow, the dialogue is bland, I just couldn’t find the film interesting. And I tried, I really did, I really wanted to like this film, but I couldn’t find anything appealing.

Well, okay, I lied, I found one appealing thing. Jeff, played by Christopher Titus, was a great character, Titus did a fantastic job playing him. He was the one character you hoped didn’t kick the bucket, whereas everyone else was just...meh, mainly because the acting is mainly half-arsed. You don’t like the other characters enough to care about them, and you don’t hate them enough to despise them. Well, except for Olympia’s (Kirby Bliss Santon) best friend...whoever that was, Sandra (Monika Mar-Lee) that’s it, I hated her. And there was whoever wanted to smoke pot and have her religious boyfriend, Howard (Brandon Jay McLaren) to have sex, I hated her too.

Apart from Sheriff Jeff, there is also Bishop. Again, like Titus, Ben Cotton did a really good job playing him, even if he only had a grand total of roughly twenty minutes screen time. Also, I’d like to have had more time with Howard, he seemed a really interesting character. But we only got three minutes? Maybe four of screen time involving him, which I thought was a real shame. The girls in the flashback scenes (Brittney Wilson and Tegan Moss) also gave great performances.

Now as mentioned the film has a slow pace, which, for a film that IMDB has classed as ‘crime’, you’d think would be okay. You’d think there’d be time for character development. No. That doesn’t happen. We get obvious dream sequences (Well, in what sort of reality would someone go for a jog in the middle of the night when there’s a killer on the loose?), and we have Joan constantly go to Bishop’s old house when it’s obvious that A. The murders obviously aren’t taking place there (I’m sure someone would’ve noticed blood stains and a heavily injured person in what is now a museum) and B. The police have already checked it.

It’s also predictable as well. You can tell when things are going to happen and can easily narrow down who the killer is. Hell, now that I think about it, you can tell who the killer is the second the character is introduced. Honestly though, I did think someone else was the killer, mainly because it would’ve made more sense and have been more interesting. Especially when one of the victims was still alive when found, meaning that the killer literally just did it without anyone seeing the incident. If you’d like to debate who you thought would’ve made a better killer just comment below.

Now, apparently when this film was first screened, one man fell unconscious and paramedics were called, whilst another person ran out the theatre and threw up. Honestly, I don’t see why. Pretty much 80% of the gore you’d expect in this is offscreen. Compared to films like ‘Hostel’, this film had nothing. Hell, say what you want about ‘The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence), but at least Tom Six was a man of his word and gave us a huge amount of gore. ‘Scar’ gives us two torture scenes, both of which were pretty sub-par for a horror film.

In its defence, the early screenings were in 3D, something which my DVD copy didn’t have, so the gore was probably more effective. There’s also a girl whose tongue is cut out, someone who gets cut by an electric saw, and someone who cuts off her thumb. Then again I found it quite far-fetched that this person cut off through flesh, cut through muscle and cut through bone, with a shard of glass in the matter of ten seconds, let alone not go into shock.

The killer did also yank teeth out, as stated by the back of the box. Actually, no, the killer threatens to take a hammer and chisel to some teeth. Threatens, not does. That was actually the one thing I was looking forward to after reading the back of the box, and it didn’t happen! Even the UK cut of ‘The Human Centipede 2’ had that!

For a film with a low budget though, it does pull off a decent film, and the cinematography and lack of bright colours pull of a surprising success. But, again, I just found it so dull. For what should have been somewhat a success, a predictable plot, some barely adequate acting and sluggish pace results in a disappointment. It’s definitely not the best film in the world, but, while I didn’t, you may enjoy it. Give it a shot.