Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

Back in 1974 John le Carréc released a spy novel named ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’, the first of six novels featuring George Smiley. In 1979 the story was adapted into a seven part television series featuring Alec Guinness, which became a huge success. So it was inevitable that it would eventually be remade into a film.

Taking a page out of the ‘Harry Potter’ series and having a mainly British cast (David Dencik was born in Sweden) as well as Russian cast members, this film has some of the best Britain has to offer, including Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy, Colin Firth, John Hurt and Benedict Cumberbatch. So a film with Sirius Black, Bane, a...dragon and Sherlock Holmes must be good right?

And it certainly is.

The plot is exceptional. If you haven’t heard what the plot is, Smiley, played by Oldman, is tasked to investigate a mole in the British intelligence service who is giving good information to the Russians. The film keeps you guessing whilst keeping you hooked. Films like this are designed to make you think, to see if you can work out who the traitor is before the film tells you. If you got it right, well, good for you. But if you didn’t get it, you do feel it should’ve been obvious.

The acting is, of course, superb. Oldman gives a brilliant performance as George Smiley, though I must admit I should see the original television series in order to see what difference, if any, there is between Oldman and Guinness. Tom Hardy and Benedict Cumberbatch also gave one of the best performances of their live; they, and everyone else, gave it their all.

And I really did like the grainy technique the film used, it really gave the film a much better feeling towards it. The setting was very well done, it truly felt like we were transported back to the 1970s.

 

There were some bad bits though. Whilst there was a great pool of talent in this film, I do feel that not all of them got much screen time, especially Colin Firth, who I felt was greatly underused, though he still delivers a stunning performance. It looked like the film struggled to keep track of all the characters, and it really showed as we don’t really learn much about any of the characters. Sure, we get some information, but with all the different characters and their backgrounds, we could have gotten a lot more interesting facts from them.

Not only that, but the flow of the film kept getting broken up. One second Smiley is having a swim, then he’s in a meeting, then the past, then some random other place, you really do need to pay attention very hard in order to fully understand it.

Then again, I suppose in order to truly appreciate the film, you had to have read the book and/or have watched the original television series.

This is certainly a great film and worth a watch. Is it as a masterpiece though? No, it isn’t, but it’s definitely one of the best films that has come out this year, certainly worth going to see.

The Box (2009)

Press the button and two things will happen. First; someone, somewhere, someone you don’t know, will die. Second; You will receive $50,000/$200,000/$1000000, depending on if you’re in the short story, TV episode or film respectively. The box will then be collected, and passed onto another, someone you don’t know.

That is the concept behind this film. A couple, played by Cameron Diaz and James Marsden, are visited by a man, played by Frank Langella, who provides them the box in question. They push the button, of course. Well if they didn’t we wouldn’t have a movie.

‘The Box’ was originally a short story by Richard Matheson entitled ‘Button, Button’, where the wife presses the button and her husband is killed. Whilst receiving $50,000 in cash, she asks why her husband was killed. She gets the response “Did you really know your husband?”. The story was also adapted into a twenty minute segment of the 1985 series of ‘The Twilight Zone’, in which the couple pressed the button and are instead told that someone they don’t know will now receive the box, putting them in the firing line.

Now, the short story is, well, a short story. The ‘Twilight Zone’ episode was twenty minutes long. ‘The Box’ is one hundred and fifteen minutes long. Yes, a plot which was very short, has now been stretched out for nearly two hours, and you can really tell. This plot, whilst interesting, is only suitable for a short amount of time. By trying to extend it to two hours, the plot now feels like it’s dragging on, whilst most of what has been added on now feels pointless, before going onto downright stupid. This story is just not suitable for a two hour slot, it just isn’t. If the couple kept the box and were forced to press the button every so often, then that may have worked, especially if persecuted by those investigating the deaths. That may have worked.

And I wasn’t the only one to think this, Cameron Diaz looked bored for about 90% of the film, it looked like she had nothing to do despite being one of the main characters. Hell, on most of the posters her name is twice as big as the other two top billed names, some even only had her name. James Marsden is almost as bad, he just does what is necessary but nothing spectacular, and even then it looked like he was struggling.

Let’s get back to the film. Now the film is set in 1976...for some reason, Diaz has a southern accent...for some reason, Diaz’s character has a mutilated foot...for some reason, some guy seems to get off on this...for some reason, etc, etc. I wouldn’t really mind much, but these points don’t go anywhere, Marsden doesn’t have an accent, there’s no real reason why the film is set in the 70s (apart from..........), the mutilated foot is only five times at the most and wasn’t even a main plot point (as Marsden’s character had already put something together to help her before the box proposal was made) and the guy who gets off on it is only in two or three scenes and only serves for us to feel unsuccessfully sorry for him when Marsden confronts him (I think it’s implied that he’s disabled).

In fact, that scene was unnecessary on so many levels, it was only there to establish she has a deformity. Weird guy says she limps, yet I hardly remember that happening. She only shows her foot because the weird guy uses reverse psychology, every single other member of the class were uncomfortable, they didn’t want to see it.

Frank Langella definitely provided the best performance in this film as Arlington Steward, the man who provides Diaz and Marsden the box. He was creepy, disturbing and mysterious. It’s just a shame that the character was then ruined later. How was it ruined? Well, he’s an alien. Yes. An alien. You see. Steward has a facial deformity, caused by a lightning bolt (glaringly obvious CGI). This killed him, but he was later heard laughing in the morgue (this is the point where I shrug my shoulders) and displayed accelerated healing powers. He would then later go on to say that the box is a survey; if a majority of humanity presses the button, humanity would be exterminated. The box survey only applies to couples with one child, so not very fair is it? Steward was also brought back to life by those who “control the lightning”. So yeah, the Martians from ‘War of the Worlds’ are behind this. We also see portals made of water. But how serious is this?

Not very since the film pretty much stops that plot point. It’s like it hits a brick wall, it comes to a sudden stop. And...good. The whole alien thing makes this intriguing film laughable, stupid really. And on top of it all, it ruins the whole concept. It’s not explained in the short story or the ‘Twilight Zone’ episode, it leaves the idea behind it mysterious, that’s was what was really good about it. Revealing a motive behind the idea of the box ruins the whole thing, especially when it’s revealed aliens are behind it. Do you not remember ‘Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’?

Now, the ending. It tried to be a twist when it wasn’t. Spoiler alert. Since when Diaz pushed the button, somewhere a man shoots his wife. It is later revealed that Langella’s organisation forced him to save his daughter or his wife, deciding to save the daughter and shoots the wife. Why? Don’t ask logical questions. Well later Langella’s people take Diaz and Marsden’s son. Why? I don’t know I was bored at this point, I think it was because Marsden kept trying to investigate him. Anyway, the son takes him through a water portal, which results in the son becoming blind and deaf. Langella offers Marsden a choice, shoot your wife and your son will regain his senses, or they will live knowing that he’ll will never see or hear again, as it’s irreversible. Which doesn’t make sense if Langella can reverse it. Anyway, another couple somewhere had received a box and press the button, at the same time Marsden shoots Diaz. This film tries to go for a ‘Saw’ ending, but it’s not a twist. Why? Because we saw this earlier! The same situation! I apologise if I ruined the surprise for you, but it wasn’t much of a surprise.

So overall, this film is just awful. Intriguing, yet poorly executed. The majority of acting is bland, the twists are predictable and, as I’ve said before, the plot just isn’t suitable for something that’s nearly two hours; it drags on, has a slow flow and is just boring. I got this film off iTunes and watched it on my iPod, and even the iPod thought it was so bad, it just suddenly stopped thirty minutes towards the end, and any attempts to try and resume the film from that point makes the iPod break down for five minutes.

So yes, ladies and gentlemen, don’t bother with this.

Nuclear Hurricane

I just found myself yelling at the television during this film, furious at the constant repetition of the two main characters Linda, played by Jamie Luner, whose ex is on the island and appears to be dating the female sheriff, possibly, I don’t know, it looks that way, and Rusty, played by Jack Scalia, who is Linda’s colleague.

But let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Essentially what takes place is a poor version of ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’, with the HAL 9000 being replaced by a computer called Staci, voiced by Jean Giplin, and space has been replaced by an island and its radioactive power plant. Linda and Rusty need to reboot the backup system, but the code they were given activates Security Protocol 13, which makes Staci go beserk.

And by berserk, I mean go on strike.

Now, where to start with the repetition? Well, before they perform the reboot, Rusty tells Staci to lock the doors to the entire building, citing security reasons. Now, how they can do this when there’s no...proper computer software on the doors, apart from apart from keyholes, I don’t know. Now get this, when Security Protocol 13 (SP13) kicks in, Staci doesn’t do anything the lead characters do, for example, shutting down the protocol and rebooting the backup system. So, Linda tries to leave the building to pick up her ex Erik (David Millbern) so that he can fix the situation, since he designed the protocol.

The problem? Well, Linda and Rusty have forgotten that they’ve locked the doors. Linda asks Staci to unlock the doors, but SP13 prevents this from happening. Linda asks Staci to shut down SP13, but Staci says she and Rusty are not authorised. Linda and Rusty cannot call headquarters to get authorisation because Staci says they’re not authorised and repeat. Despite going through this plot point extensively Linda tries getting through doors MULTIPLE TIMES, then asks Staci to open them AGAIN, then AGAIN asking for Staci to open them, which results in Staci telling them they’re not authorised...AGAIN! Because the first hundred times worked before you stupid moron!

The building also has retinal scanners, which Staci also decides to ignore. So Linda, if the retinal scanners don’t work STOP TRYING TO USE THEM! And guess what Linda do when the retinal scanners don’t work? If you said she asked Staci to let them use them which results in Staci saying they’re not authorised, then yes, that is what happens! Linda! STOP BEING AN IDIOT!

Now, the title of the film is also misleading. A nuclear hurricane. That sounds awesome and terrifying. We get a normal hurricane. Nowhere near nuclear. A threat is what we get. I WANT A NUCLEAR HURRICANE! THAT’S WHAT THE FILM PROMISED ME!

And then we have plenty of...terrible, terrible things to distract us from what resembles a plot. A pointless sub-plot of a woman giving birth, a pointless sub-plot of Linda stealing Rusty’s job, like ‘Lava Storm’ the settlement (an island) has an unlikely population of nine, vent shafts are not real sized (no-one builds them that big), the characters don’t bother covering the camera because this might “piss her off” (though by all regards, covering up the camera DOES NOT TURN OFF THE MICROPHONE!), a pointless maintenance guy character who doesn’t really do anything but try opening doors after being told they’re locked, and, get this, Linda trapped in an air vent that has been heated up to 135 degrees. We’re not told whether it’s 135 degrees Fahrenheit or 135 degrees Celsius, but she should have died. Does she? Of course not! Main character powers save her! She even jokingly asks out Staci. WHAT THE HELL?! LINDA! YOU SUCK!

That’s it! I’m wrapping up! I’m not going into any more detail about this piece of crap! Nothing in it is good! This film is awful! It makes no sense, it repeats itself endlessly, the characters are either bland, annoying or forgetful, the dialogue is terrible, it repeats itself, we don’t care about the characters, it repeats itself, the acting is wooden, it repeats itself and I DON’T CARE ANYMORE!

Troll Hunter, a.k.a Trolljegeren

The ‘found footage’ genre is on the rise thanks to films like ‘Cloverfield’ and ‘The Blair Witch Project’, but it originally came into existence with ‘the 1980 production ‘Cannibal Holocaust’, a film which came out during the video nasty era, in which people thought it was real. Granted the filmmakers didn’t help by having the actors sign contracts which prevented them from appearing in other media in order to make the film look even more real.

Now films like ‘Cloverfield’, ‘The Zombie Diaries’ and ‘REC’ have become increasingly popular, making the audience feel part of the action, as well as a re-emergence of monster movies. So along comes Norwegian found footage monster film ‘Trolljegeren’, a.k.a ‘Troll Hunter’.

‘Troll Hunter’ follows a group of college students initially seeking to find what they believe to be an illegal bear hunter. It then turns out that the dead bears are a ploy to cover up and even greater threat; trolls. The guy they were following is in actual fact, a Troll Hunter, the only one in Norway, who effectively keeps the trolls in line, killing any who break out of their territory.

Now, before I go into anything else, I’ll talk about the main feature, the trolls. Now, the filmmakers don’t use machinery like ‘Jurassic Park’ did, it was CGI, but they were fantastic. Whilst most films which use CGI look fake, the trolls in this looked realistic, they looked like they were actually on set, they looked life-like. They were fantastic.

Acting wise they were superb, especially the initial three students whose performances appeared authentic, they were natural. But the stand-out performance was definitely Otto Jespersen as Hans, who was just the perfect choice as the Troll Hunter. He gives a brilliant performance, especially when he recalls the story of how he was forced to kill pregnant troll mothers and newborns who couldn’t even walk yet, and all because some company wanted to build some tunnels, and Hans Morten Hansen does a great job as Finn, the official who wants to keep the trolls under wrap.

The film did bizarrely introduce a new character with about ten minutes of the film left though, a seismologist who was investigating the tremors being caused by the giant. That seemed a bit unnecessary.

But you can truly tell the makers put a lot of effort into this, they had done a lot of research into this. They had gone through troll stories, making two references to ‘Billy Goats Gruff’ and eating contests, seeing the best way of using trolls weakness to sunlight, the two different types of troll (mountain and forest) as well as the many different species, the trolls being able to smell Christian blood, and thinking about what different procedures the STS (Secret Troll Service) would have.

A side note to trolls being able to smell Christian blood though, they do raise a good question when asking Hans if being Muslim is alright (when Malica comes into the film), with Hans saying “I don’t know, we’ll see,”. I mean, Muslims believe in a God, but they’re not Christian. Heck, a troll we see later (I believe the giant) looked like he was unsure what to do. And it was very intense when the group were hiding from five trolls in their cave, and the Christian amongst the group started to panic.

The plot is pretty standard, some might say the genre is getting old. But this film is fantastic, it’s not meant to be scary, but for a mock documentary you really do start to believe in the storyline, we feel we are actually being educated. That is actually the best thing about this film, it takes itself and the viewers seriously. It invests in the characters to make you actually care about them, it invests in the story so it’s taken seriously and has some great humour as well. I absolutely loved the reaction of the guy at the end (I think it was Finn but I can’t seem to confirm it online) when the Prime Minister just blurts out in an interview that Norway has trolls, it was priceless!

Overall, this was a masterpiece, a brilliant piece of Norwegian film making. So of course, CJ Entertainment and Media in America has to ruin it by purchasing the remake rights. See you in four years for the inevitably terrible remake!